Three, Two, One, BLAST OFF!

OK, here are a few of the crazy things my kids have said over the last few days:

1) Mely's negative response to a question "No way so hey!" (No way, Jose was the intended phrase.)

2) Fletch: "Farting in five, four, three, two, one. RRRROOOOOOMMMMMP!" No, I did not teach her that, regardless of what you people think!

3) F: "Daddy kills the bad guys! He is a super hero because he has a gun and shoots them dead!!"
SJ: "Yeah, but Fletcher, the bad guys have guns too."
F: "Oh, I hope they don't ever shoot Daddy."
SJ: Deadpan as ever "Well, you never know."

4) After finding out from the informer (SJ) that Fletch hurt herself by jumping from one bed to the other (a BIG no no).
Me: "Fletch, why are you crying"
F: "Because I hurt myself."
Me: "How did you hurt yourself?"
F: " I was jumping"
Me: "Jumping on what?"
F: After a much needed "oh shit" pause to think "I was jumping side to side."
Me: "Side to side on what?"
F: Blank
Me: "Side to side on what Fletcher?"
F: More blankness and the beginings of the "I'm gonna get a spanking" look and the realization crying starts.
Me: Trying not to laugh "Fletcher, what where you jumping on to hurt yourself?"
Trish: snicker, snicker, snicker while she cooks supper.
F: The "Ah man, he knows!" look....."I WAS JUMPING ON THE BED!!!!!"

5) Mely while giving his song performance during family night: "Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Ahhh Bama! Doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo" (the rythym of Sweet Home Alabama guitar) then all a sudden does a stage dive head first into the floor. I mean a no holds barred no shit just jumped and dove into the floor! After he stands up, he giggles a little punch drunk giggle and says "I hurt myself!"

6) SJ: From the upstairs to the downstairs, "MAMA!!!! MELY KEEPS PUTTING HIS HANDS IN MY BOOTY CRACK!!!!"
F: "Yeah, and then he puts it in his mouth!!!"

7) Mel: "Daddy, where's your Jeep?"
Me: "It's in the shop."
Mel: "Oh. It went tits up."