Well, it have been forever since I have posted anything. I'm probably not going to tell anyone that I have even started posting again. Don't know why though.
So. I live out in the country now.....BACK IN THE SOUTHEAST BABY! I miss the PACNW, but not the cold gray sunshinelessness.
Where to start? Hmmmm. Well, I recently left Ft. Lewis and am now back in GA. I have not been booted out of the Army yet....not sure how, but hey, look at the other decisions that the Government makes. My kids have grown like weeds...they are now doing things like football, gymnastics, cheer leading.....it's crazy! The wife is getting more creative by the day, and feistier! Me? I'm just getting older and grumpier. I swear, sometimes when things come out of my mouth I look for a planted tape recorder from my Dad. WTF? When did I turn into him? Speaking of old.....I am still trying to keep up with the 20 something soldier......wrestling around on the mats.....now I'm walking like Mr. Roboto because I can't turn my neck. Great fun I assure you.
Older kids are great. Except they don't come w/a volume button. Or a pause button. Just think, if they had a pause button, they would NEVER have the chance to talk back! How awesome would that be? I'm finding that older girls come with boobs. Your kids are not supposed to have boobs. That is complete bull$#!%. They also come with lots of boo boo lips and tears and a range of emotions that explains why I never understood girls as a boy. I really don't understand them now, I've just figured out how to navigate in the sea of estrogen. It won't be long before I have THREE at one time to deal with. I'm so screwed. I've been avoiding the shrink, but it may no be possible for much longer. My only hope is my son will soon become a world class athlete or a doctor or something. Or maybe he will just set the school on fire, you know, anything that will project some testosterone up in the piece!
Has anyone ever seen Bill Cosby Himself? Remember when he talks about his wife's head splitting open and stuff? That is what I come home to most days because two out of my three kids are determined to not do homework! The oldest, knocks it out fast. The other two....fiddle fart around to do anything BUT homework! Somehow, they all have straight A's. I think this is impossible if they are my kids, so I am now having a paternity test done next week. The wife is the bomb for making them smart.....my contribution to school work "Hey, don't fail, people will think you're retarded or something."
Well, the boy is having a meltdown because one of the sisters is stealing his cereal. Gotta go.
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