The technological failures of Daddy

Today I achieved a computer/automation first. I properly installed a wireless connection in my home. I am now using the wireless laptop to write this blog. Then, after accomplishing such a fantastic feat such as this, my seven year old totally wrecks my newly earned self esteem by asking me to help her get started with her brand new password journal.

Today my 7 year old made her very first purchase all on her own with her own money. She has been wanting a password journal for about two years now. She finally saved enough money to go buy it. Trish and I took her to Wal-Mart (aka Hell) where she picked it out herself and carried it for the duration of the shopping trip. After much screaming from Mely and Fletch, Mely kicking Fletch in the eye, Mely pulling stuff from shelves and the usual Hell trip with three kids, we made it to the check out counter. SayJay purchased her journal seperate from the rest of the family's items and even pulled the money from her very own purse. I was so proud of her, she is such a big girl now. There were three ladies behind us in line who were looking on with big grins and just getting a kick out of this little girl who was acting so big. So we then went to the car and went home where I went to the bathroom to change into my superhero costume, Idiot Man, and I begin the journey with the little pink thing called a Password Journal.

I'm thinking, no issue, just put some batteries and away we go. While SayJay is washing her ass, I take the initiative to install the batteries so it will be set up for her to use as soon as she gets out, right. Hell naw! As soon as I put in the last battery, this damn thing starts talking to me and giving me more commands than a drill sergeant! In short, I fucked it all up and thing would not do anything that I wanted/needed it to do. Of course I'm now getting all pissed at this pink thing and here comes my daughter. Immediately she goes into hysterics because she KNOWS that I have just jacked up her new toy that she spent HER hard earned money on. Dude, I suck. I calm her down from her initial conniption fit long enough to get her to sit with me on the sofa with the instructions. Well, as luck would have it, we followed the instruction to a T. The password journal spoke to us and told us everything shy of "fuck off". I still suck. SayJay falls completely apart, can't eat dinner because she is so upset, Fletch just says with all the attitude she can muster "You will just have to deal with it!", Mely is banging away at the table with his fork tossing his chicken and rice all over the place, and Trish just puts her face in her hands and shakes her head. Yay Daddy!!!! After about 10 minutes of refusals to eat, crying, sobbing, and generally feeling sorry for ourselves, I took SayJay back into the den and we settled in my big chair to fix this journal from hell. After about 15 minutes of trying and retrying, we get it right! The password works, the alarm works, and the UV light that comes with the "Don't look at this light or you will go blind" warning works, so all is now good. After all of my humiliation and sacrifice, I have redeemed myself, for about 10 seconds. SayJay then begins dancing and shouting "I fixed it! I fixed it! I got it to work Mommy, look!" I suck again! So, I take my defeated chicken and rice covered self back upstairs and revel in the fact that I can now use a wireless internet connection 6 feet away from my desktop just because I can. Take that you evil password journal!

RLTW