It runs in the family

Readers, (all three of you)


The last nine days we have been without Internet connectivity! I have forgotten more blog material than Carter's got little liver pills.

Just for the record, screw Windstream and Dahlonega. What I really think happened is the squirrel on the treadmill they use to power their server had to have his annual vacation. Assholes. I gots bills to pay and shit! Howmy gwanna gits my shit ifs I don't got no inta net?

So, more crazy stuff has happened in the last nine days. I'll fill you in. One Saturday evening my sister Beth was here. So we decided we would go downtown and look around and have dinner at a local Italian place. (Pro-nounced: eye-tal-yon). All was good as I was walking downtown with Mel and Fletch waiting on Beth and Trish to show up. Mel, Fletch, and I were looking at all of the fall displays and a couple of forty pound pumpkins, it really was pretty neat. Well, we see Beth and Trish ride by so we take off for the restaurant. Fletch gets all excited and twirls around in a circle, ending her death spin with a solid, square, earth shattering full fist shot to the cods. OUCH!!!!!!!! Involuntarily, I screamed. And doubled over. Fletch immediately starts apologizing. That's sweet, but you just cracked my nuts, again. People are staring. It was a bit embarrassing. After I gain my composure and start to walk off, a lady with her kids stops me and asks "Sir, are you OK?" "Yes ma'am. My daughter just has impeccable aim." "Oh. I'm sorry!" I felt like an ass.

So, we get to the restaurant and we are still waiting on Beth and Trish. Fletch decides to show me the shorts under her skirt. So she rips all of the snaps open and says "Look Daddy! It's really shorts under here, not my panties!" I'm going home now, and these are not my kids. I swear they are my sisters, she'll be here in a minute.

Seriously?! A nut punch and strip tease within a 15 minute window! I guess all the girls in my house think my junk is a punching bag. It runs in the family I guess.